I Hate Restaurants...
Ok so if you read my post earlier today you know that today is my mom's 50th Birthday today and my dad wanted to take the whole family out to dinner to celebrate. At first he wanted to go to Boston but then we just settled on Olive Garden. I was supposed to go have dinner with some of my friends at our high school lacrosse coaches house but instead I went out with the fam. Well, because family does comes first to me :)
The whole afternoon I was debating on where I should go. I really wanted to go with my family since it was my mom's birthday but I also wanted to spend time with my friends. And ED was telling me NOT to go out to eat because of the Italian food, the portions, and how bad restaurants are. But I decided to ignore ED and go out with the family. Mind you the Olive Garden used to be MY FAVORITE restaurant before I developed an eating disorder. I would always get The Tour of Italy, a piece of lasagna, chicken parmesan, and some spaghetti and alfredo sauce and I loved every single delicious bite of it! But now when I go there I absolutely dread it and I am always thinking about which meal has the lowest amount of calories, fat, etc.
I just kept thinking to myself everything was going to be alright because the past couple times I have gone out to eat, they have been DISASTEROUS to say the least. So tonight at the OG I first ordered the Venetian Chicken which is chicken and veggies until my mom found out that it didn't have any "starches" according to her. So then I had to switch my order to Shrimp Primavera, penne pasta w/ shrimp, mushrooms, onions, peppers, with a spicy tomato sauce. I was going to get that at first but the pasta just scared me for some reason.
So when the meals came out the portion was really big (at least to me it was anyways!) So I tried my best just to portion out what I thought was a good amount of pasta to eat. Now I thought I did a VERY good job on my meal, I probably ate a little less than half, which to me was a lot. But to my parents it was not nearly enough to them! The whole time at the restaurant my mom just kept barking at me to eat more, eat salad, eat bread, and she got really upset with me. Then, my dad was saying he is never going out to eat with us again and then my sisters get upset too. The whole night was miserable and I HATE GOING OUT TO RESTAURANTS!
Later, I went out with my friends and had a nice night with them. It was good that I got away from my family. I am now going to bed after a stressful night I had!
6 comments:
Hey Sweetie!
I am so sorry the evening did not go so well
I can definetley relate to the fear of restaurants, especially when it comes to portions etc.
But at the same time, its good you went, and exposed yourself to that fear.
Because in reality, we can't avoid restaurants forever, and we shouldn't! They are a nice indulgence that people enjoy, especially on birthdays!
So although this was not a very positive experience. It was a step in the right direction. You did try your best, and I can appreciate how hard that can be.
Keep it up!!
xx
I'm sorry you had such a horrible experience at the OG. I don't think it helped with your mom "barking" at you to eat more. That never helps! Eating out is always stressful for me too. I always research ahead, look up nutrition facts, etc. so that I'm prepared to order. Obsessive, huh? Don't worry, at least you made a big step in actually going! Yah!
Aww~ I'm sorry it was so stressful! But I am really proud of you for going and getting through it!
I'm sorry your dinner didn't go so well. I can relate so much! Eating out is always so stressful for me and my family. They would rather just not bother and leave me at home. I use to love going out to eat before my ED but now I just hate it too!
I am so sorry about your dinne fiasco, Jenna! I completely undestand how much anxiety eating out can cause -- and i commend you first of all for making the decision to go! though i know you parents anger came from a loving place -- and they just want to see ou happy and healthy -- i think it's really important for them to know just how challenging these things are for you. Have you ever opened up to her and told her about this?!
but again -- i really need to reaffirm how proud I am of you for going out with the family! and Olive garden is a great place -- they have plenty of healthy options! I just went the other day and got the minestrone soup with a side salad and a breadstick .. yum :)
have a great day girl!
awww thanks girl so much for all of your comments! reading them all made my night so much better :)
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