Couldn't be happier

Friday, October 15, 2010

Hey everyone! I am finally back and posting :) I have been doing real well lately recovery wise and I couldn't be happier. My life has just been so much better now that I am REALLY into my recovery and ready to be ED-free!

I still have my weekly weigh-ins at Health Services and things just keep going up-hill for me, there was only one week were I actually stayed the same, but every other week I have gained! But this upcoming week will be the first time in a long time I am NOT seeing Karen! Ahhh. She is going to be at a conference the day we meet :( She said I could come in earlier this week to see her but she honestly thinks I am strong enough now that I can take one week off from seeing her. This is a HUGE step and I know I will be fine! It is a great feeling to know I am making huge strides in my recovery :)

I have a whole different view in my recovery than I did last year. I remember when I would hear that I was gaining it scared me and ED would tell me to slow it down and I would stupidly listen and then slowly but surely things began to go down-hill. But not this year! This time around when I hear I gained weight I feel good about myself and it motviated me to continue to do so :)
Yogurt messes per usual.
This would be Oikos Chocolate yogurt topped with Dark Chocolate Dreams peanut butter. It was pretty much just like having dessert for breakfast.Snacks.I picked up these two new Supreme Protein bars and decided to give them a try since they had some cool tasting flavors. Cookies 'n Cream.Peanut Butter Pretzel Twist was definitely the better out of the two but I wasn't that big of a fan of them since they kinda too fake tastingEnergy Mix!!Mother's Mystery Mix. Don't ask about the name, that is just what my dining hall calls it here at school.Turkey wraps, pretzels, and an apple.My FIRST EVER Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Iced Coffee. I finally had to try one since pretty much all coffee lovers just rave about I did!Big ole' salad topped with lots of veggies and swordfish with a pumpernickel roll.SnackFace inspired dinner finally! Ever since I started reading Kailey's blog I have always wanted to have a "snackface" meal but ED never allowed me to :( But now I don't listen to him (obviously) and I eat what I want and what I am in the mood for! I guess I just got really anxious and nervous of having something that wasn't so called a traditional "real" meal and just like a bunch of different foods. But I have learned, that if it works then it's fine! Another random dinner, but hey it worked! Sushi, chicken, and a pumpernickel roll. I am by no means saying I now eat random meals all the time, but I have come to realize to eat what I want and craving and not just what ED tells me to! Ice creeeaammmm :)Chocolate frozen yogurt with REESE'S pieces! My new obsession at the coffee shop ;) Now this was good because I am pretty sure this was my first time since I developed my ED that I have had candy!!! Can you believe that?! That was like almost 2 fulls years ago.But of course I am still having my frozen Boosts. I just like the fact I am switching up my evening snacks nowadays!So do you think it is a problem I currently have 5 (yes, 5) jars of peanut butter in my dormroom?! I think not ;) I know what this girl would say!

As Halloween is soon approaching, what is your favorite candy and what are you being for Halloween?!
My favorite candies are anything Reese's, Twix, Kit-Kats, & Peppermint Patties. As for my costumes go, one night I will be an 80's workout girl and the other Risky Business! I can't wait for this weekend. It's gonna be so much fun!


My weekend at home!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Hello and Happy Tuesday! Well I must start off by saying my Columbus Day weekend at home was wonderful and could not have gone any better! I spent my time with my family and it was definitely an ED-free weekend. As I said in my last post, I was very nervous as to how my transition back home was going to go since last year when I went home for the first time I did not do too well. But let me tell you this past weekend was just the opposite.

I WANTED this past weekend to go well at home and so I made sure it happened and I DID. I am very proud of myself for doing so well. I proved to myself I could do it as well as to my family. My mom came and picked me up from school Friday afternoon and this was the first time she saw me since she dropped me off at school in late August. I mean I talk to her on the phone everyday and my dad and one of my sisters came up to visit me but I hadn't seen my mom and other sister since leaving for school. So it was very nice to finally see her and give her a big hug :) She said I looked great and I was excited to show her myself and prove to her I was really doing well at school this year.

This past weekend I spent time with the fam and went to 2 of my sister's field hockey games, apple picking, and went to my cousin's family party! It was great to see my grammy, aunts, uncles, and all of my cousins. I love when we all get together. I was glad to see everyone sicne I haven't seem them in quite some time. They all commented on how good I looked and for the first time ever in my recovery I was finally HAPPY to hear that! I was actually hoping and looking forward to all the compliments. I wanted to show them I was doing well and I can recover!

Now let's get onto the food I have been eating lately...
Breakfast all weekend was the usual yogurt messes!Morning snackies.I had Subway for lunch on Saturday and I was so disappointed. I mean don't get me wrong I love Subway, but I have to admit I am so spoiled here at school with the dining hall! Nothing can compare to the deli here.Mom's homemade lasagna with bread and butter. I specifically told her that she was making this while I was home and of course she happily agreed to make it for me ;) Oh the things she will do for me!Veggie Pizza at my cousin's birthday party. Pretty boring veggie pizza I must say and definitely not the best I've ever had.BBQ Chopped Chicken Salad. Love me some Panera!Asian Sesame Chicken Salad. Now I haven't had Panera in weeks and then all of a sudden I have it twice in one weekend. Go figure! I went out tonight with my girl Carly for dinner once I got back to school to catch up on our weekends since I did not see her for like FOUR days straight!I was also craving a burrito this I got one last night for dinner!Moe's Burrito get in my belly. Demolished it! I look back to just last year when you couldn't even pay me to eat a burrito and now look at me. Now I have no anxiety whatsoever eating it at all. It is so weird how things change for the better in just one year and it can be done!Hazelnut Chicken, Fruit & Mesculin Salad. I went out to lunch with my mom and grammy late this afternoon to an Irish pub before my sister's field hockey game. I also had a warm homemade roll as well.

Now for an evening snack I only had a Boost one night. Can ya believe it? But no need to worry, I did in fact have an evening snack every single night!
One night I had this new frozen yogurt parfait topped with trail mix and it was delicious! It was a nice change from the usual Boosts every night.
The two other nights I had real ICE CREAM! None of this low fat, no fat, fat free stuff...I am talking about the real good ice cream! I am so happy I finally had ice cream this past summer to get rid of that dreaded fear of thinking ice cream is evil... now that was just non sense! These lil containers of ice cream are the perfect evening snack and a good change!Of course my mom and I did a lil grocery shopping while at home so I picked up some bars for well as this beauty that I haven't had in wayyy to long! Dark Chocolate Dreams :)The oldest and youngest granddaughters on my mom's side :)
Me and my sister before apple picking wearing matching sweatshirts ;)

I am off to shower and watch the Teen Mom finale with my roomie before snuggling into bed and starting classes tomorrow! But yeah for only a 3 day school week!

Ready to go home!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Hey hey everyone! So I am currently in my room anxiously awaiting for my mom to come pick me up to go HOME! This will be my first time going home since school started in late August, so I haven't been home in quite some time. I am excited and happy to go home and spend time with my family and relax but I am also nervous as to how I am going to do recover wise. I remember this time last year when I went home for the long weekend for the first time last year. I was doing well all the way up to the point until I went home. I am not quit sure what exactly caused me not to do well at home, but I pretty much think it was the change (as I am terrible with change!) But it is definitely something I have been improving on :) I just hope I will continue to do what I have been doing here up at school while at home for the long weekend. Just take it DAY BY DAY ;)

I want to make it a stress free and ED free weekend with my family. I want to prove to them I really have been doing well while at school. I think being at home will go well. Plus, I already asked my mom to make her homemade lasagna tomorrow night! Now that is saying something ;) As she was super excited and of course agreed to make!
AHHHHH! So I finally got a chance to try these babies :) I got the chocolate and caramel, but have only tried the caramel and it was delicious to say the least. I wish it could last forever. It was seriously like having dessert for breakfast. The one thing I didn't like about it was how small it was :( Boo. Can't wait to try the chocolateeee soon!I have been having copious amount of yogurt messes each morning.Snacks, snacks, and more snacks.Lunches have been the usual turkey & cheese wrap with pretzels and an apple.I know I have said this in my previous post, but the salad bar at my school seriously ROCKS!I had this salad beast last night and it was awesome. I filled it with romaine lettuce, carrots, cucumbers, baby tomatoes, thai pasta salad, chickpeas, sunflower seeds, craisins, almond slices,sesame sticks, and dressing along with a wheat pita!
Mexican Salad! This one was hot and spicy with romaine lettuce, avocado salad, salsa, beans, carrots, peppers, and dressing with a sunflower roll.White Fish topped with peppers and onions, apple squash, and mixed veggies with a roll and milk.Well girls, some BIG things have been happening in my life! And can ya guess what I got the other day?! ;) Welcome back into my life mother nature! It's been too long, way too long!

And of course I have been ending my long days with a frozen Boost, the only way to drink it is cold & slushy!

Well girls, that is all I have for you before my mom gets here! I am hoping to take foodie pics while at home since I am hoping to be eating a mix and different foods than up here at school. So be ready for a foodie filled post next time!

Have a great Colombus Day weekend :)