One year ago today

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

It was exactly one year ago today I went in-patient at Walden Behavioral Care at Children's Hospital Boston at Waltham for my eating disorder for a little over a month. I remember the whole experience very vividly because it truly did save my life. As much as I did NOT want to go there I knew I had to! Even though it has been a year since I went in-patient and I am still to this day recovering each day and I have learned so much about myself, my life, and food. I have definitely had my ups and downs through this past year.

But as I write this post I have realized it has been one year today that I have been battling this awful disease and that is just one year way too long. I would have never thought I would still be recovery today after a year but I am and I can't take it anymore! I cannot let ED ruin my life.
He has taken away one year of my life and that is it! I must keep fighting each day from here on out because living a life with ED is so not worth it. From now on there is no going back, only forward :)
So now onto my eats...Last night for a snack was another Creamy Chocolate Milkshake. Again I let it sit in the freezer for a few hours to make it real cold and slushy!

Breaky this morning was a yog mess of Vanilla Brown Cow yogurt, Kashi Go Lean, sliced banana, and PB & Co. peanut butter with milk on the side.

This morning again it was raining out, blah! So I got ready for the day and got dressed in my rain boots and rain jacket and trucked to classes this morning.

Lunch was the typical turkey & swiss wheat wrap, pretzels, an apple, and milk.

For an afternoon snack I had a Chocolate Brownie Clif Bar that tasted well, exactly like a homemade chocolate brownie!

Dinner tonight was Autumn Tilapia, honey-glazed carrots with lemon thyme, mashed potatoes, and a Harvest dinner roll with milk.

I am now sitting here typing this post as I watch The Biggest Loser but I gotta peace out because my Nursing essay ain't gonna write itself!

Night lovies :)



Meg's Gut said...

Congrats on deciding not to go back and only forward!
Your eats look great and those shakes just look so good - I wish there were dairy free versions!
Good luck on the essay :)

findinghappinessandhealth said...

I am so glad you are feeling determined to beat ed, Jenna! You are right- 1 year is WAY too long- ESPEC when you are in college- these are supposd to be the best years of your life, u know? but if you REALLY want to beat ed, just DO it. use two tablespoons of peanut butter at breakfast... that barely looks like 1. & keep adding! you can do this! i know you can

NSGIRL said...

I'm glad to see you are making GREAT progress beating that ED thing! Keep up the great outlook!

feetinmotion said...

Girl you've come so far! Stay strong and continue your journey to better health!! You are such an inspiration to many. Don't ever forget that!!

Julie said...

I second Shelly-and thensome.
Commit to recovery, don't just say the words. If you can't commit-then thats ok-you can say that also and we will help.

But, I again, second Shelly.
You need more in your meal plan-why not write out what your nutritionist has for you (is it exchanges?) and look at what you are doing-and then you can see where you can make up.

Recovery is a process, and it takes commitment and trusting your team-and trusting what people who have been there are telling you-but trusting the professionals.

Your meal plan looks so small for a gaining plan, in fact I don't believe this is your "meal plan", but only you know.

Go for it .

listen to shelly and others.


todayslady said...

What an inspiring and motivating post!! You should make sure to reread this post if you're ever struggling!

Those mashed potatoes look so cute :)

Trying To Heal said...

it's beautiful to see how far you've come and how strong you've gotten. from here on out, i'm sure it will only get better for you!!!

sprinkledwithcinnamon said...

Yep, it's amazing what a life-sucker ED is- glad you're determined to get out of there, fast. And do it, you won't believe how much mental clarity/space for life you'll have after.
Have you thought of making your lunches/dinners more fun- adding more spices/herbs/condiments etc to make them less "prescribed?"
I know you've been making an effort to branch out recently, but I get the sense that you're struggling to get out of the 'same stuff' ruts- how about putting hummus or some sort of a delicious aioli as a spread in your wraps? Or gourmet chips instead of pretzels? Or something to spread/dip your harvest roll in?

ktbwood said...

WOW so happy for you! great job love! you have done so awesome so far!

Molly said...

you can do it girl!

chocolate brownie cliff is by far one of my favorites... try the chocolate almond fudge one next... it is like a healthy candy bar..

imaginenamaste said...

it is AWESOME you want to move forwards! determination to become yourself and be healthy is probably what ed hates the most! keep on challenging yourself.

Tia @ dietcolagirl said...

those milestones, like 1 year anniv. of treatment really do stick out in your mind. i mark these dates mentally too and sometimes its depressing but it sounds like you're looking at it positively and as motivation to keep on trucking. btw that hershey's milkshake looks AWESOME.

iheartgazelles said...

You're doing a lot better Jenna! Keep trucking on! Did you drink a Boost with your snack though? It's important that you do, even if the bar you eat is higher in calories than usual, as Clif bars are. And I agree with Shelley, your breakfasts could be bulked up. You've made some great improvements this past week or so though!

- Ava

Erin (Travel, Eat, Repeat) said...

You should be SO proud at yourself looking back at where you've come from and where you are now. What a day of delicious eats, too. :)

Hedda said...

Thank you for an honest and thoughtful post.
You are right, you can not let ED take more of your life. It will always be a part of you, but it should belong to the past. You can take control of your future, I know you can.
As Shelley said, start with adding more peanut butter, or how about some more cheese in that wrap? It is all those little changes that add up to something beautiful called life.

Have you tried dried banana-chips? Very good, and full of stuff that your body needs :)

Hedda :) said...

keep goin girly! You're doing fabulous :) Your dinner looks amazing!


rollerkoesterrun said...

Keep fighting girl- you're beautiful and strong!!!


Mari said...

You have come so far already and I KNOW you will beat this!

La said...

It's crazy how it can just suck up your life and suddenly you look back and you're shocked how much time has gone by. You can do it though. It's mind over matter.

Bri said...

I'm so glad you're doing so well, you must be so proud! That's awesome :) Hope school and everything is good, talk to you soon!

Jenna said...

thank you for all your support :)

myhealthiestlifestyle said...

I missed the Biggest Loser on Tuesday :-( I feel like I have so much to catch up on! I am so happy for you that you are recovering and making a lot of progress, and I totally admire you for your courage to face your ED and punch it back! Good job girl, keep it up!!

Post a Comment