I could be doing a lot better than I am right now and everyone knows that, including myself.
So I had my weekly appointment with Karen at Health Services yesterday afternoon and as I will not go into the details with you but I will just say it really didn't go all that well :/
But let me tell you they pretty much threatened me and that is what it took in order for me to turn things around once again! I have a really hard time after a few weeks of doing well, it is like a revolving door that keeps going around and around but I can't keep doing that. I must stay consistent!!
Since yesterday afternoon after they had to threaten me (which they shouldn't have to!) I started doing much better. I was kind of bummed after having a bad appointment but there was no better way to cheer me up than going to dinne with all my friends and then Bingo!
And guess what?! I had my afternoon snack at 3:30 with Karen in her office, hah. Then I went to dinner at 5, even though it was less than an hour and a half since I last ate I didn't care, I was going to have dinner and enjoy it! I was so anxious to eat dinner and get back on track again. Then I enjoyed bingo with my friends and had a nice night time snack, blueberry yogurt wig granola. Mmmm!
The bad appointment I had yesterday was actually good for me. It was just what I needed!
That is why today I decided to come home for the weekend to kick things back in gear and in the right direction! Being at home this weekend is going to be best for me.
Once i got home this afternoon my mom and i made a much needed Target run and now I am at my sisters basketball game!
I will now leave you with some of my recent eats from this past week! It's a little bit of everything. They were all great and none of them disappointed my taste buds ;)
Have a great Friday night :)
-Jenna
25 comments:
Good luck with getting back on track? Maybe try and blog a whole day of eats it may keep u accountable!!! What have you been eating for diiner???
I agree! Being accountable to other people sometimes is the exact push I need. Whenever I feel like I am doing a piss poor job, I start blogging more. It makes me realize people out there want to read, and I need ot have something to write about!
Prayin for ya!
xo-Molly
I am happy that you were able to turn a negative experience into a positive...good luck love!
It might be tough but I know you can do it! I agree with the above comments.. maybe posting EVERYTHING you eat in a day so you have to be held accountable? And just think about how much happier you'll be when you're at a HEALTHY weight.
I definitely agree with what you have all said!
I was actually talking about this with my girl meg from sunshine n spice about how I should post my full day of eats and I totally agree with her because it really holds me accountable!
That is why while I am at home this weekend I will be documenting and posting all my eats to show not only you guys but also myself! To know I can do it!
Thanks for all the support :)
Hey Jenna!
I'm glad to hear you've become remotivated- I truly hope that you won't allow yourself to slip again and continue the vicious cycle- it's just not worth it :). I hope you have a wonderful weekend and take care of yourself dear :)
Sara
aw jenna sorry you've been having a hard time but it really sounds like you're motivated to make this work! sometimes we need a little scare tactics to get us back on track ;). love you girl, take care of yourself!
You know I'm always here for you girl! Glad you're staying strong and realizing that you've gotta keep up the hard work. I know it's not easy. But I also know it is possible, and you can do it. Haha, I sound so lame! But it's so true Jenna. Your life is too beautiful to let ED take it over once again.
Oh goodness you're making me crave a Clif bar right now!! I LOVE the Oatmeal Raisin Walnut - especially warmed up - tastes like a fresh baked cookie!
Much love, talk to you soon:)
p.s. you've got plenty of support in the bloggie world too!!!
You were honest in this post, you are struggling and I personally don't care if you don't post one iota of what you eat-as long as you get the help you SO clearly need. I know the place you are in and it isn't fun, you are trying to convince yourself and everyone around you that you are ok and that you can turn this around. You CAN turn it around but Jenna, you've tried to do it without extra support and it doesn't mean you arne't trying your best, it just means you need more support right now. Don't waste another day. You were "threatened" at your appointment, you were "threatened" a few weeks ago, you're stuck in a cycle and the best way out is intensive support in the means of residential treatment-I know there are some great places in your state. Think about it. =(
Exactly! when I was struggling... I posted my eats EVER DAY! and EVERY MEAL.. I even said little "bites and nibbles".. 90% of this community is supportive.. but for that other 10% that isn't. it just makes the rest of us better :) Just take 10 minutes out of your day and post a quick update of what you ate! Trust me- it will help :) I wish you the best of luck girl!!
oh man Jenna you keep up that motivated heart!! sometimes you NEED to be scared-thats what happened to me. you take care of yourself and get that health up!
Pop chips are my new addiction!
I have only tried the BBQ and salt & pepper! Both were phenom!
Glad to know the salt and vinegar are good- kinda iffy on salt and vinegar chips, not really my thing but I am willing to try them!!
Hey,
Sorry you are having a tough time. Sometimes being scared into getting better is needed. I was scared into recovery when my doctor showed me all of my vitals and etc and told me that I could go into cardiac arrest at any moment. Not something that I wanted to hear! But it definitely made some part of me WANT to get better.
I'm not a huge bar fan, but I adore the oatmeal walnut raisin clif bar...mmm!! It's like an oatmeal cookie!
I'm wishing you luck for the weekend. I agree with those who said maybe posting a full days eats will help keep you accountable. :)
Love reading your blog!
~ Catherine
LOVE pop chips!! Love your bars!
Glad you turned things around!
<3 jess
xoxo
Sorry to hear about the bummer appt., but I am so glad that you were able to take it and turn it into a positive! All those bars look delish. I haven't tried any Cliff bars yet (still stuck on Lunas ) but I just might have to try some in the near future.
Aw girl, I hope things get better for you!!!
aw honey :( please go home and check yourself into IP. seriously you know it's time.
KT
Aw, sorry to hear that things have not been going well. I hope this weekend with your fam is good and that things get better!!
Hey Jenna. Sorry to hear about your minor setback...don't let it define you though. YOU can turn this around! Have a good weekend at home--I know sometimes home is where we need to be! :D take care girl!
www.justjac.wordpress.com
Maybe if being home is what helps you stay on track, perhaps you should take at least 1 semester off so you can focus on yourself? Sure it only takes a weekend to FEEL back on track, but staying there takes much longer.
Good luck getting the help you both need and deserve.
Good luck! You can turn it around. Every day is a new opportunity. It is nice that you are home this weekend and are around people who love & support you. Have you tried the iced gingerbread cliff bar...OMG!
Hey,
I recognize your experiences. I have been in recovery for my anorexia for a couple of months now, and yes- there has been some not so pleasant visits to the doctors. Times where I have stood on the scale thinking "What? Why have I not gained more, when I have eaten "so much"?" And then the fear of having to go to hospital because of my low weight. Not a good feeling, so I feel with you :) It is great that you find some strenght from this, and use your positive energy to get back on track again!
Wish you the best of luck, I am really enjoying your blog and often feel that I read about me, haha!
Hedda, Norway
(if you want to have contact per mail : hedda.evensen@gmail.com )
love, put down the pop chips and "nutrition" bars. they aren't doing you or your body any good. if you really want to gain weight the healthy way, try REAL food. you NEED to recover... i know you know this, but sometimes we need a reality check.
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