Yesterday was definitely a very emotional day for me but I must say I am doing a lot better today! Although I didn't get a good nights sleep last night because I was stressed out thinking about everything, today has been great thus far. Since I was awake most of last night I got a lot of thinking done and decided ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I am sick and tired of this eating disorder ruining everything in my life and I am ready to finally get over this disease. I can't take it anymore! I am going to fight this til the end!
I decided to stop skimping and restricting my food intake from here on out and follow my meal plan. I jumped out of bed and stormed in the kitchen to tell my mom I am going to beat this ED and that was that! I told her I was sick of this ED ruining my life! I then proceeded to make myself the REAL yogurt mess without skimping on anything. I had Plain Brown Cow yogurt yogurt, Barbara's Original Puffins, a banana, and Crazy Richard's creamy peanut butter along with a glass of milk on the side. Twas a great breakfast to start my Sunday!
I showered and then got ready for the day and then next up was snack time a few hours later :/ Even though I absolutely HATE having snacks because it seems like I am eating every hour, I had my snack because it is what I have to do. I had a Vanilla Boost along with a side of peanuts while reading up on all my gossip mags ;)I then went out with my mom to pick up my lil sis at lax prac then went to my other sis' lax game! You could say my day was filled with lacrosse, and we have more tomorrow as well! Then we came home and again it was time to eat again. It was lunch time and Mr. George Foreman was callin my name. Hello panini maker, long time no see! It was great to be reunited again. I made myself a panini with turkey, american cheese, lettuce, and tomatoes along with a sliced pear and pretzels with a glass of milk.Then it was time for grocery shopping! My favorite time of the day ;) I got some major goods.
Let's take a lookie... We got some apples, pears, whole wheat bread, almonds, Kashi Go Lean, Brown Cow yogurts, Boost, and Clif bars. Great purchases if I say so myself!And yes that would be BUTTER PECAN Boost my mom scored! Go mom! So exctied to try this flavor! Have any of you ever seen this before because I sure haven't!
For dinner we brought the lasagnas and stuffed shells over to my cousins house with my Grammy. Now lasagna is definitely one of my fear foods. But I knew I had to eat it and I did. I had a decent size piece (with the meat and spinach) with a glass of milk and I don't regret any delicious bite of it. I must say my mom's lasagna is so good and this time she made it with spinach which made it even better. I just get so anxious and nervous thinking about eating it before but when I finally start eating it I am fine. But I do notice I eat rather quicky when I am not comfortable with what I m eating just to get it over with. I definitely rushed through this meal just so it would be over, that is something I have to work on. It was a great dinner and when push comes to shove and I know I have to do something I can do it!
I spent the remainder of the night spending quality time talking with my mom, aunt, and Grammy about my current situation and what I plan on doing in these next few weeks. It was so nice to talk to them and they all love me so much and are great supporters.