Another one bites the dust

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Yep that's right! Another one bites the dust ;) This morning I took my Nutrition Final which means I only have two more to take and then I am done, done, and done for the semester! Last night for dinner was nothing new, just a piece of broiled chicken, green beans with mint, and a Harvest dinner roll with milk.

Despite my old boring dinner I always have, I had something different for breakfast again! I am currently working on mixing up my breakfast meals besides just having yogurt messes 24/7. I mean there is nothing wrong with yogurt messes...but every single day, I think so! You gotta switch it up a lil in life ;)

When I woke up I was craving cereal so that is what I had! I feel like I am getting a little bit better about eating the foods I WANT to eat rather than the foods ED wants me to eat. So this mornings breakfast featured Kashi Go Lean crunch cereal! I love these lil individual cups of cereal because they are great for on the go and they are already pre-portioned out for a full serving. Perfect! I find Kashi Go Lean Crunch to be very hard and crunchy, hence the name...Kashi Go Lean CRUNCH! So I like to soften it up by adding some milk.

So along with the cereal I poured in milk, topped it with a sliced banana, and then added a dollop of Teddie's.

My final went really well and I hope I get my results back today to share with you all.

My mid-morning snack was a Great Date with Chocolate You Bar I received awhile back.

Absolutely loved this bar, it was a rich flavored chocolate bar with a chewy brownie texture. You can't tell me that doesn't look like a piece of brownie? Come on now! It was a perfect sized bar that kept me full until lunch.

Well I am now off to study the rest of the day away! Have a great afternoon :)



ktbwood said...

i bet that bar is GOOD! true that-who doesnt love gooey brownies? yumm!!
the kashi go lean crunch is VERY crunchy to me too-reminds me of granola..but i like it!
yay for ACING your exam!

findinghappinessandhealth said...

jenna im proud of you girl! kashi go lean crunch is a very nutritious, filling, and delicious cereal! good for you hun :) keep on pushing through.. i really believe you can do this. your meals are still small, as are mine at times, but i know you will get better if you can work iwth a nutritionist :)

Hannah said...

Um, no offense but your breakfast this morning was just your "yogurt mess" minus the yogurt. Usually you have the milk anyway. Sorry but I don't see you changing things up. Why act like you did something completely different today when, well you didn't? As your other readers have said, just be who you are, no one is going to comment negatively if you have another yogurt mess. This is your recovery. I agree with someone said a couple posts ago, I think you should take a break from blogging. But, that's just an outside opinion.

Jenna said...

hannah thanks for your concern.
i added more MORE cereal than i usually do with my yogurt messes!
i agree with you on having yogurt messes often is quite okay for now, but i am just trying really hard to have something NEW! ya know?

Tricia said...

I'm a YouBar fan. Yum!

nourishing mornings said...

:) hey Jenna!
love your blog girly, and that YouBar looks and sounds soo good, I've always wanted to make one!


Jenna said...

hey eliza!
i just wanted to tell you i love reading your blog and you are a very strong girl! keep it up and i can't wait to keep reading :)

peaceluvmunchies said...

Glad to hear your finals are going so well, girl!!
- Jil

chocolatepickle said...

thanks for stopping by my blog! I look forward to reading more of yours:)

I'm gonna become anon tonight-I usually dont said...

I can't read anymore. This has gone from a blog about recovery, and with supporters in recovery to a blog that says I'm in recovery but isn't and has readers who, are OPENLY in their Ed. I am not saying it is bad, I am glad your readers are aware of where they are in recovery/in ed. It is a shitty place but to be honest with yourself is the first. Your readers who aren't yet in recovery are open about that-I wish I could hug and support each one and tell them they are worth it. Then there's you? Where are you on the spectrum? You're not in recovery (though you try and portray like you are), you don't talk about your struggle with your eating disorder (like your newer readers do and again I SUPPORT them because they are looking for support), rather you are in this middle ground. I see your old -I say old because I just skimned and dont see many comments like before, they might have been rough but ALWAYS heartfelt and for your best, I see comments now that just keep telling you how great you are and thats what you are saying back to people. I'm one of your new readers. You've commented to me that something I did was "great". It wasn't, I'm not doing great, neither are you. Thats probably all I needed to say. I hope you "ok" this. I want you to do well and recover but I was reading posts from your other readers and I see what they mean. I wish i had that support.
but in the end its all you.

Anonymous said...

PS I realize my comment sounds harsh, I know how you are struggling. The frustration is you aren't being open about it, you are trying to act like you are fine. I hope you will have some time over your break to reconnect with your therapist, or even just your family and realize your recovery is your own. You are doing the best you can, but having a blog and "changing up your eats" when you really aren't changing them-will either push you to REALLY change things up *(and you shouldnt before you are ready), or to feed your eating disorder (as people have said). I think we just all want to see a shift, and your want is there-like you believe you changed things up today (dont try and sell it that you had two of those cereals), but your want is there you just need a hand to nudge you. I recommend an IOP or PHP program in your area while you are home. If you own recovery and want it, then why not get the extra support while you can.

Anonymous said...

i must agree with anonymous

your passive aggressive attitude towards your "recovery" and the fake comments to anonymous posters and on other blogs telling girls they are "doing great" etc... is a clear sign that you have a serious serious problem that needs to be taken care of outside the blog world.

you are setting up triggers for girls with EDs.

i hope you post this comment i would hope you are not afraid of honesty, i think your readers with ED need to see these types of responses. Sorry Jenna we all just want you to be okay and clearly you are not.

Jenna said...

i don't understand what you mean by "fake comments?"
i must disagree with you on how my blog is triggering! this is my blog through my life!
it should be about me and my life :)

Jenna said...

and regards to leaving comments on other blogs?!
i am always positive and kind in what i say to other bloggers!
if they are doing well i will sure let them know, that is what the blog world is all about, supporting each other!

Anonymous said...

Thank you Anon 12 (and 10/11)-I agree. And to you girls who are struggling and who are living w/ your ed, there REALLY is a way out.

Jenna, you really are setting up triggers for others, who are younger (clearly) and who are looking for support back from you. You are giving it back, but you shouldn't be-but I think there has come a crossover between food blogs (recovery oriented) and food blogs (ed focused but masking recovery). I find a LOT more of the latter, and thats who I see replying to you-which is FINE. I wish I could help every person, but you need to realize that you aren't going to get positive feedback from the people who are walking the walk and fighting the fight because you aren't fighting. BUT you pretend you are. THATS the difference.
You have support and god knows the readers who follow you who are in the depths of ed, are supported-toward recovery. That doesn't mean they have to eat 3 squares and 3 snacks,but to be open.You aren't. I hope you post this along w/ the other two anon comments and I dont mean it harshly.

Katie said...

you don't get that you are saying they are doing well when what they are doing isn't even close to well.
You are too enmeshed in ed blogs to see the difference.

Anonymous said...

yes honey this blog CAN be about you and about your life OF COURSE. the ISSUE is that you are portraying it as a food blog of a recovering anorexic.

What the previous anon and i are saying, as well as many others, is that because you portray it like that it is in fact triggering to those still ACTUALLY in recovery or suffering from an ED. You absolutely need to clarify the purpose of this blog to get rid of comment like these.

You DON'T see comments like this on say, eliza and mayas blogs for example because they actively talk about their recovery. If that those are not enough examples i can provide more.

And yes, being kind to other bloggers and supporting their struggles is wonderful, but telling someone they did a "good job" on a day where they were clearly struggling is not REAL support. It encourages the disordered behavior. Supporting someone by saying "Im sorry you had a bad day, you CAN do this i believe in you!" is real support and what the blogging community is about.

Jenna we are all trying so hard to get through to you because we want you to be okay. Im so sorry for the harshness of this, and perhaps my choice of words in the previous post was not ideal but i hope this clarifies what i mean.

Sara said...

I hope you post replies, even if you don't agree w/ them.

Anonymous said...

Um I can attest to the fact that your blog is triggering (especially that one post where you said everyone's body has different needs to justify your undereating). I promised myself I would stop reading your blog, but for some reason I came back today. I guess your "recovery" blog is kind of like a car accident. It's gut-wrenching to watch, but it's impossible to turn your head away. I'm sorry to be so mean girl, but ED's fooling you into believing you're recovering.

tatiannalives said...

Hey girl :)
I know how hard it is to switch up breakfast and other meals - I struggle with this every day and usually end up failing. The important thing is that you keep trying =)

Congrats on your exams! Hopefully the next ones go just as smoothly :D

Jenna said...

thanks for all of your comments girls.
i do not think my blog is triggering whatsoever!
this is MY blog and i wish to post what i want, how i am feeling, how my day is going, what i eat, etc.
i am far into my recovery from ED and have been fighting it for awhile.
although i do not want to focus this blog all on my recovery but also as a food blog as well :)
i hope that makes sense?!

*One Step at a Time* said...

Ahh Jenna, these comments on your blog make me so sad. I just want to reach out to you. While I agree with a lot of the things they say, I think you need to do what is best for YOU. NO MATTER WHAT you will have support in the blogging community, whether you portray yourself as someone in ED or recovering from ED. You just need to be honest with yourself, first! You have such a wonderful and loving family, and you seemed to have been doing so well over the past summer. I hope that over winter break, you can gain back what it seems like you have lost this semester?? I think you are great, and while you may not openly say you are still fighting the disease, I think deep down you know. Just try and fight it! I have faith in you. :)

Jenna said...

and i am so sorry if i am triggering at all but this is my blog and this is me!

Julie said...

We understand it is about you, I guess there is a level of responsibility involved when you are portraying yourself as in recovery, I say portraying because your Ed has you believing you are far into recovery and you aren't. That is what is very triggering. I'm very glad anon 19 commented because I think many of us feel that way. The fact you keep saying "This is about me and my blog" and are missing what we are all saying makes me even more convinced that you will just never see it.

It's about you.
Good luck. I hope people know to back off when nececessary.

I am.

By for now.

Kiersten said...

I also want to say that everyone has a choice. Recovery, true recovery, is the hardest thing you will do. I'm not there, and I don't claim to be but I trust I will be. I should clarify that yes you are "in-recovery" because there are many different meanings of "the process of recovery" but your denial that your eating disorder is so prevelant is what I think comes across as triggering and not genuine. Hopefully you can get some support when you are home over break.

Jenna said...

thanks kiersten!
i am going to check out that blog right now :)


K said...

The link to the blog wasn't the point of my comment(s) and it's unfortunate that you don't see that.

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