About Me

Friday, July 31, 2009

Hello friends and thank you for checking out my blog, I really appreciate it! So to get to know a little bit about me, my name is Jenna and I am 19 years old and I am a college sophomore and I am a Nursing major. I love my family, they mean the world to me <3

me and the fam, August 2008

I never had a dislike for food in my younger years. As a teenage girl in high school I was very athletic. I played soccer, basketball, and lacrosse all four years. I was healthy, active, ate whatever I wanted (never worried) and was never was concerned with my weight.

me and my best friend Kelly, Senior Prom May 2008

The summer going into college I still didn't have a problem with food or my body. It was definitely by far the BEST summer vacation ever, it was soo much fun, no doubt about that! I went on vacations with my family, hung out with my friends, went to the beach, exercised, and ate whatever I wanted too.

my sisters Krista and Alexa in FL, July 2008

College was soon approaching and I was both excited and nervous for school to begin. I got a full lacrosse scholarship to my college and I couldn't have been happier :)

me and Krista, Summer 2008

As I started college, and a lot of things changed for me, I was now without my family and friends at my side whom I love so dearly and I now had to make all of my own decisions on my own. I was playing fall lacrosse, exercising, and eating quite healthy. My weight was never an issue. With all of my working out I dropped a few pounds in the fall (not intentionally though). I probably dropped five or ten pounds throughout the fall.

me and Alexa, Thanksgiving 2008

As I came home for winter break I felt wonderfully. I was now a whole size smaller and I felt like I had just made a huge accomplishment, but I knew I could do more! At Christmas time I was very content with my body and liked the way I looked. I felt healthy, strong, and beautiful. My family all said I looked great and this is a picture of me and my sister Krista (on the left) on Christmas Day when I was at an ideal weight.
I can clearly remember that Christmas when I was happy and full of energy. I remember helping myself to delicious desserts and not worrying about it one bit! I had no regrets in eating them. I just ate what I wanted to and exercised regularly.

me and Alexa on Christmas Day 2008

When I went back to school in January was when things really turned the wrong way. My weight loss soon became my life. I knew I could lose more weight if I just kept doing the same thing. My eating disorder soon became my best friend as I began restricting foods and over exercising, and isolating myself from everything and everyone. My food intake decreased dramatically and my exercising became more and more. I honestly do not know how I was eating barely anything and on top of that going to lacrosse practice AND running more on my own. WHAT was I thinking? Clearly I was not! I became obsessed with counting calories, looking at nutrition labels, watching the Food Network, looking up recipes, cooking, hording food but not eating it, and watching other people eat.me in March 2009 (collar bone sticking out)
lacrosse picture, February 2009again, March 2009 (face sunken in)
Early February, my family, friends, lacrosse captain and coach were all terribly concerned with my weight loss and my lack of energy. They all talked to me and told me I needed to do something. But I just kind of ignored them not thinking anything of it. But I finally went to see Health Services at my school where I saw a nurse practitioner and she weighed me weekly. They sent me home for one week in February because they thought my weight and pulse were extremely low for my height. I went home and I started seeing a nutritionist and therapist, both of which I paid no attention too. I just went to all of the appointments because I had to in order to go back to school and not because I wanted to get better. The next three weeks as I was back at school I just kept losing more and more weight. Once again, Health Services sent me home again, but this time for good. They said I needed to seek more medical treatment at home because this time I was at an extremely low weight.

collar bones sticking out (gross :/)

As I went home on that Friday, the following Monday I was admitted into Walden Behavioral Care at Children's Hospital Boston at Waltham. I was inpatient at the hospital for a little more than one month.

As I left inpatient at the hospital I was required to see my doctor each Tuesday for a weigh-in and vitals. I began seeing a therapist weekly and a nutritionist every two weeks.

At first when I left the hospital I did not follow my meal plan and do exactly what I was supposed to do. I soon began to lose weight the first couple of weeks or stay the same weight. I was going to exact opposite of what I needed to be doing. But soon enough things got to get better for me, as I soon realized I was GOING NOWHERE with my eating disorder. If I wanted to do the things I loved and used to do I needed to get over this disease and move on with my life.

Though I am still in the process of gaining weight, I am much closer to health and happiness than I ever was before. I still continue to see my doctor, therapist, and nutritionist whom I all enjoy working with and I love dearly. If it were not for them I probably would not be where I am today. Each day with the support of my family, friends, and my team I am making more and more progress to a healthy life.

I hope this blog will be very helpful to everyone and also motivational. If you have any questions, comments, or thoughts for me please feel free to e-mail me at

Jetgirl1990@aol.com
.

88 comments:

kasondra said...

That is pretty much my story. I was even in walden (for a week and 1/2) i left because i felt i could create more wellness working with my family!!
so weird. I was completely fine before i went away to college for athletics!!! But the experience has helped make me who i am today! we should keep in touch. I live in central MA now

Jenna said...

hey kasondra!
you really went to walden? omg, sucha small world. yupp i was there for a month!
we should definitely keep in touch and i would love to talk with you more!
i looked at your blog as well, and i enjoy reading it and i will continue to follow it :)
i live in MA as well.

talk to ya soon girl,
jenna

healthy ashley said...

What a journey, Jenna! Good for you for setting this blog up to share your story. Best of luck to you as you work to be your best!

lookingforserenity said...

hey! thank you for stopping by my blog :) I am so happy that you are in the process of recovery! Keep up the good work!!!

Michelle said...

Good for you that you recognized that you had a problem...and thank goodness for your friends and family! Thanks for the comment on my blog! I'll definitely be reading yours! And yup, I purchased those delish PB pretzels ;)

Brooke said...

Jenna! Thanks for sharing your story..you seem like such a strong girl for pullin yourself out of that rut and realizing that living is so much more important and FUN! I can't wait to read more of your blog because I just skimmed the foods and they all seem amazing!! :)

jilianmarie said...

Hey Jenna,

Thanks for sharing your story;very brave of you! :) It's great to see you wanting to be healthier and I have no doubt that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to! I wish you nothing but the best in your recovery and I will definitely be following your blog!!

And though it wasn't an easting disorder, you've inspired me to share my story on my blog, as well.

By the way, I have some friends who go to or went to St. A's! Small world! I'm originally from NH. :)

Best of luck,
Jil

mtbcy said...

Good luck with your journey and recovery Jenna! I think it's brave of you to share your story and inspiring to see the wonderful, healthy meals you're creating every day. Thanks for the comment on my blog- I'll be sure to check yours regularly as well!

Cait (Cait's Plate) said...

Love the blog Jenna - what an awesome story. It takes such strength to share that and you did it beautifully. I can't wait to keep reading!

taylor said...

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step! Im an Army veteran, and was diagnosed with severe depression and PTSD. I went from a sold 200lbs down to 120 in three months. I even tried to kill myself. And it all was because i wouldnt talk about my experiences. That was 2005. Now im back to 185, have a wonderful girlfriend, and love life again. Keep up your spirts and remember, when life is dragging you down Ruck up, shoot the f"er in the eye, and drive on! GOOD LUCK!

*Andrea* said...

i love your blog! you are such a strong person, keep up the great work :) although i never went to inpatient, i did suffer from anorexia in HS and am still in recovery now on my own. the blogging world is so incredible at helping!!

EaToLive said...

wow, such a great story :) glad to hear you're recovering well!

thanks for stopping by my blog! i look forward to reading more of yours!

Mrs. LC said...

What a path you've been on! I am confident that you will continue to grow more and more and you will fully beat your E.D. and realize more and more what a wonderful, strong, beautiful young woman you are!

Katja said...

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I read blogs, but dont usually comment, because im not in recovery yet. I have been really struggling, and spent a month at Walden, then another week and will be going back this coming week yet again. I also live in MA. I really hope some day soon I can write a recovery blog too, and find a way away from this world of ED. Goodluck!

Katja

health savvy shopaholic said...

wow, what a story. i am glad to hear you are on the road to recovery- you are a beautiful girl :) i can't wait to read more of your blog. i just started my own, so check it out :) xo, whit

ratzxfink said...

Hi Jenna,

Just stumbled onto your blog! Thank you for sharing something so personal which i lack the courage to.
Will look forward to reading more of your blog!
And all the best iin your recovery! :P

nutsandpaintedsmiles said...

Rooting for you in your recovery, go you for your totally positive mindset!

jac said...

hey.. am glad to here you're recovering.. stumbled upon your blog.. Remember, it's always what's inside you that's most important. body image is number 2..

Kelly said...

You seem like you are heading in a very positive direction. I wish you the best of luck in keeping your life moving forward to a happy healthy life. Keep up the good work.

Laura: Learning to Love said...

This truly put me in the recovery mode.
Thank you for the motivation =]

Pure2Raw Twins said...

Thanks Jenna for checking out our blog. Yours is great! You are beautiful, keep up the great work. We will keep up with you!

liveloveeatandplay said...

Glad you are getting better. It sounds like you are taking all of the right steps!
Are you from Waltham? I went to Brandeis and I miss the area. Can't wait to read more :)

ahealthylife101 said...

Jenna thank you for sharing. I went the opposite direction, I weighed 390 pounds. I ate my emotions and problems for 20 years. It was a life of depression and pain. Food is a terrible best friend.
I have lost 230 pounds and am on a journey learning to live a healthy life.
I am so happy for you and your getting healthy. It is a process my friend. I am proud for both of us!

april said...

Hi! I just found your blog and it's really cute! I'm a nursing major too :)

peanutbutterfingers said...

wow, this was very interesting. i'm so glad you're in a healthier place now and i look forward to reading about your journey!

tatiannalives said...

Hello Jenna =)

Thanks so much for checking out my blog, and for reaching out :)
I've started reading your blog and it's definately going to become part of my morning update list :P You are such a beautiful, sweet girl and it sounds like you have made an incredibly huge journey so far.
Stay Beautiful, and don't be a stranger ;)
Tat

Leigh said...

Jenna,

You're so brave to share your story. It takes a strong person to open up like you have.

I came across your blog and saw that you're also 19 and in college! I'll definitely be following. Come check out mine if you want to compare sophomore experiences :)

Allie (Live Laugh Eat) said...

Hey Jenna! Thanks for the comment on my blog. I'm so glad you are on the right path. We have such similar stories. I remember the last time I was 'happy' before it all came tumbling down. We're all here to support each other though. It seems as if you are doing well and I hope you continue to do so. You are so beautiful!

heartswholefoods said...

Thanks for sharing you story, Jenna! I'm so glad to hear that you are recovering and getting happier. It sounds like you know what it takes to be healthy and I'm excited to read more!

pickyeaterruns said...

Hi Jenna. I enjoyed reading about your journey! So glad you are on the path to recovery. You're an inspiration. Can't wait to read more :)

Michelle (Snacks and Field) said...

Your story is so interesting! I'm a college athlete as well, and I know how much pressure being in college and dealing with your weight can be. You want to be at an ideal weight for peak performance, but sometimes it can be too much... Good luck in working towards your ideal weight and I'm glad you are on the path to recovery :)

livinglikeshannon said...

Deep story girl. I'm glad your on the road to recovery and I'm excited to keep reading your blog :)

Gabriela. said...

Oh, God.
You´re such a strong girl!
I´m impressed (obviously, in a good way. Haha).
Good luck on your way back to your healhy weight range!
I´m on this road, too.
Keep sharing your journey. You´re a great writer :)
Kisses from a brazilian reader and fan,
G.
http://www.yogolover.blogspot.com

Kels Anne said...

Hey Jenna!
How Do I Add You As A Friend

Krista said...

Thanks for being so open and honest with us!

littlemissminny said...

Hey sweetie, first of all, thank you for visiting my blog. I just read your story,and I hope that we all from bloging comunity will be able to help you. Stay strong, keep fighting and love yourself, you are worth it!

CG said...

Hi Jenna, I just tried to comment on your banana cheerios post (yum), but I think I did something wrong so I'll just comment here! Just wanted to say thanks so much for stopping by, and I can't wait to read the rest of your entries. It's so great to have online support with the ups and downs of recovery. xoxo CG

CG said...

Hi Jenna, I just tried to comment on your banana cheerios post (yum), but I think I did something wrong so I'll just comment here! Just wanted to say thanks so much for stopping by, and I can't wait to read the rest of your entries. It's so great to have online support with the ups and downs of recovery. xoxo CG

sweetandfit said...

hey girl! thanks so much for your comment on my blog =) I loved hearing about your story, and am excited to read more!

jqlee said...

you have an inspiring story. i'm trying to gain weight myself and though it's not mentally easy, it's something i know that i need to do. i've never been hospitalized but my therapist said if i keep on my overly rigid calorie counting/hermit living (not socializing), i could very well find myself at an institution one day. i do NOT want that! i realize (sort of) that i want to gain weight so 1) i look more like a girl, not a 10 year old boy 2) i am not freeeezing all the time and 3) so i have enough strength to run the chicago 2010 marathon.

your blog posts/review and everything else is inspiring. i look forward to keeping up with your blog!

Kim said...

Thanks for your comment on my blog :) I'll have to start following yours! It's great to hear your personal story :)

Alexi said...

Hi Jenna! I love how open you are with sharing your story- and it sounds like you're on the right path now! I know the struggles, and I also know how in the end you can use the experience for good. So, good for you! :)

James and Lindsay Cotter said...

Wow, what an inspiration you are. Thanks for sharing your heart. :)

learningtocookeatandenjoydeliciousfood said...

I am so glad to hear that you are finally working to find recovery... I personally know how difficult it can be. I was in three different residential treatment facilities and many day programs until I decided that I wanted recovery and now I am back in school and loving life!! I wish you the best with your journey and cant wait to see you come out on the end healthy and happy!! :)

weenutbutterandrunning said...

What an inspiring story! I'm so glad to hear you're doing well now and doing what you need to. :)

lunchiemunchies said...

Hey girly, thanks for checking out my blog and introducing me to yours! So glad you're making this journey and gaining back your life. It looks like you're doing well, pushing ed away and finding the real Jenna again.
Yummy eats too!
xxxxxxx

thevegster said...

Hey Jenna! Thanks for sharing your story! It sounds really similar to my own - keep up the recovering! I know it's super difficult and scary, but you'll get there! :)

xoxo
Ashlei

Kelly said...

Hi Jenna...I am so glad you posted on my blog so I could find yours! Your story is incredible and I am so proud of you! You are an inspiration to a lot of women out there and I look forward to reading more and following you on your awesome journey!

Katie@ Two Lives, One Lifestyle said...

Hey Jenna! I'm glad you found and enjoyed the blog. I'm just jumping around yours now and enjoying it- so glad that you found the support you needed and are getting better and healthy :) Expect to see more comments in the future ;)

N.D. said...

Wow - I just read your story. I had a similar issue back in college when I started my sophomore year. You went from looking great to healthy to very very thin. I went from being overweight for my height to being a little below my ideal weight. I never saw anyone about it, but wish that I had. I hope that your recovery goes well. Wishing you the best.

marla {Family Fresh Cooking} said...

Hi Jenna!! I am thrilled that your visited my blog Family Fresh Cooking! Your story is honest and alive! I look forward to following your progress. Your attitude is awesome. I am happy to become bloggie friends. Here's to a life of healthy eating, without deprivation!

xxoo

Kim said...

I got your comment on my blog today. Glad you found me so I could find you :) I'll start following you now :) Looking forward to getting to know more about you :)
-Kim

thewhatkateateblog said...

incredible story. i look forward to reading more. im originally from massachusetts, too!

Helen said...

Your story is so honest, thanks for sharing it. I'm so pleased that you are managing to fight this and become happier and healthier. Keep going! x

Sara said...

Wow. I can relate to your story so much. I just found your blog and can't wait to read more.

You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders, and I am sure you will kick ED's butt!!

fitatheart said...

I really appreciate your story. There are so many things that can come our way and take our lives down a path that we never intended to go down. But it seems like in those dark times, that's when we need to seek God the most. Because by putting him first, he will certainly pull us out of any valley that we are in. You are inspiring. Keep the focus! :)

mrsmotivation said...

Jenna.

Wow. Thanks for sharing your story. It takes a really strong person to talk about their insecurities and faults (ED!). Thank you for commenting on my blog. I know I haven't posted much lately, but I promise I will try to post more! :)

Stay strong! You can beat ED.. i know you can!!

Megan

Sheila Viers | Live Well 360 said...

Hi Jenna,

What a powerful story. Thanks so much for sharing and for stopping by Live Well 360. I wish you all the best in your road to health and happiness.

XO Sheila

fitatheart said...

Hey Jenna! Thanks for the comment on my blog. I am glad you find mine. It's great to see that you are on the path to recovery. You're a beautiful girl and I admire your determination to get your health back. Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading more!

www.fitatheart.wordpress.com

Lou Lou said...

hi there, loving you blog, mine is also a pro recovery although the last few days have been a challenge so it may look a bit downer, most of the time its pretty positive as im making great progress, i love your goal a day, its been motivating for me to make a goal for changes daily, my friend said "you cant expect anything to change if you kepp doing the same things over and over"
www.boostforward.blogspot.com
just wanted to say im a new follower and say hello.
kia kaha.
x lou

A@ Please Don't Eat Me! said...

hi jenna.. just came across your blog.. you have a great story and great recovery plan! i live in MA as well.. its nice to see fellow Mass-holes blogging! : )

kaitcooks said...

Jenna your story is incedible. Thanks so much for visiting my blog, I think we have a lot in common. Its great to find other people who understand what you're going through.

redhead75 said...

Great story and I really wish you success in your recovery. Food = health and we must get this embedded into our heads.

I can't wait to follow you!

poiseinparma said...

Jenna: thank you for checking out my blog. I must say I am blown away by your courage to post so honestly on your blog. I struggle myself with ED (night eating disorder brought on by anxiety issues, plus throw in some compulsive over exercising). I am happy to see that you are taking the right steps to be healthy and happy. I think you have a great story to share - I look forward to reading more in the future.

laquillen said...

Hey Jenna! I was so excited to see your comment on my blog! Had to check yours out as well. What a story you have. These things are not easy to share are they? I am a recovered bullemic and found that finding group fitness classes completely changed how I see and think about my body. I still struggle some days (there is so much fixation on pounds and clothing sizes), but 99% of the time, I know that this version of my body is strong and kicks ass. I am not a number!
Look forward to following you on your journey.
Leslie Ann

Sarah said...

Wow! I'm so impressed as to how far you've come! However, I'm not surprised that you went downhill at first after Walden. Their meal plans are stupid and I don't know anyone who follows them. Even people who aren't on weight-gain plans have snacks just as big as their meals. Their whole meal plan system is incredibly screwed up just to make it easier for the kitchen staff. But I'm glad you now have a system and a nutritionist that works for you and that you are kicking ass! You go girl!

fittingbackin said...

Wow - i'm so sorry all of this happened to you, but am so happy that you're recovering so well and that you have an amazing support system. I hope the bloggie helps you recover, too - looking forward to following your journey. :)

Alexia said...

Thank you for sharing, Jenna! What a blessing that you have such supportive people in your life! Best wishes!

Morgan said...

Hello, I just wanted to say hello. I see you are in MA too, I am in Whitman, and I go to Grad school at Northeastern Univeristy. I am a nurse also, and am going to graduate this May with a masters. So I saw we had a few things in common.

fithappykay said...

Hi- I just came across your blog and wanted to say that I'm also on this journey for normal eating. Thank you for sharing your story- if your interested, you can check out mine- I've only just started blogging and am hoping it will be helpful for me too. :)
Kayla

eatngroove said...

That is so cool that you play lacrosse, my whole family has played as well :) It is not that common to find a lot of girl lacrosse players.

littlemisspotato said...

Thanks for sharing your story. I'll keep following your blog! All my best to you. xoxo

Deane said...

Such an amazing story. Can't wait to hear all about your nursing adventures! Know that you are evidently an inspiration to a lot of people and that your story is part of building strength! :) If you need any help w/ chem classes or bio, you know who to ask... haha.

Maddi said...

thanks for your comment on my blog! :)
I love you and your story! I would be your friend if I knew you I believe! You have been through a lot but I am so glad you see that recovering is the best option. God is with you on this journey!
Maddi
xxx

pursuitofhealthfulness said...

Thank you so much for being vulnerable and opening up about this struggle. I have a story very similar to yours... in fact, only recently have I realized that this story isn't so unique. That isn't a good thing, either.

We, as smart and strong young women, need to overcome these obsessions with an unrealistic ideal. Good luck in your journey; I'm on your side. (:

simplyshaka said...

Wow, great post. So glad to hear you are on the right track back to being healthy! Good luck on your journey and can't wait to read more!

Nicole said...

Just came across your blog. I am glad to read you are on the track to becoming healthy. I wish you all the best! Can't wait to continue reading your posts. Hope you'll check out my blog.
-Nicole <3

cleaneatsinthedirtysouth said...

your story is so strikingly similar to mine, i nearly teared up while reading this! you're so brave to put this on your blog, and i know your story and journey will inspire and help so many other women who are struggling.
you are absolutely beautiful, from the inside out and i hope you know that! <3

Hannah said...

You are so strong!
I was at Walden for about 2 and a half weeks and you just remind me of myself in so many ways. I have been struggling with Anorexia for a while now and am now making the commitment to recover! I hope to build a network of blogging friends who understand what recovery is like and some more who have been through it! Thanks for blogging the real story and I'll be there with you!

Ashley said...

Wow your story sounds so similar to mine, except it took me two years to realize what you realized in a few weeek, eating disorders lead you no where! Ive been up and down the scale too the past two years and its taken alot from me! Now i am also in my second year of college, i gained alot this summer and im ready to gain a little more to reach my goal weight and start enjoying life. THis time i plan not to lose the weight again! your blog and story are so inspring, finally ive read about a girl who is so committed and ready to getting well! I can tell by your eats and your blog you really are ready, thats so inspiring to me! Thanks and keep up the amazing work!!!1

Elpi said...

Fantastic blog! Hope to read some more of your post Jenna.

wholewheatorbust said...

Wow, you are so honest and open. I am so glad you are on your way to recovery. Your process happened so fast! That is one of the scarier things about eating disorders :(

cleaneatsinthedirtysouth said...

thanks for the sweet comment on my blog, i love yours. you are so brave to put your story up on here and i can already tell that you are a strong and beautiful woman, from the inside out!
can't wait to read more.
<3

Allie said...

Hey Jenna! So glad I to have found your blog :) I can't wait to keep reading. Your journey is amazing and you look great!

fittingitallin said...

So awesome that you're in the recovery process. I know how hard it is to change your mindset and actually do what you need to, so I hope you can keep it up! You're beautiful!!

Lisa said...

Hey girl, thank you so much for checking out my blog! You are absolutely gorgeous and I can totally relate to your story. I have been seeing an eating disorder therapist for the last 2 years and am so happy that you commented on my blog! I am definitely adding you to my blog roll and am looking foward to continue reading! You seem like you are in such a great place now and that is wonderful! =)

Kathleen @ Katshealthcorner said...

Your story is so inspiring! Thank you for sharing it!

I can't wait to read more!

snackgirlgoeshealthy said...

We have such similar stories girl!
Its like I did not NOT eatr but I restricted and was obsessed and reaked a lot of havoc on my body and was far too thin!
Love the blog!

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