Nervous Nelly

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Happy Happy Humpday! I woke up to snow this morning but now it is raining and it is nasty outside :/ I hope it is a bit nicer wherever you are!

So if you don't know Wednesdays are my days when I have my weekly appointments with Karen at Health Services where she weighs me and does my blood pressure and pulse. Last night I was SUPER nervous for my appointment this afternoon. You could definitely call me Nervous Nelly ;) To calm my nerves down a bit I texted all of these fabulous chicas...Meg, Shelley, and Katie! Thank you for all of your support and kind words!

After a good nights sleep last night I woke up and had a yogurt mess with Vanilla Brown Cow yogurt, Kashi Go Lean, a sliced banana, and Crazy Richard's creamy peanut butter on top with milk on the side.I had some Crazy Richard's this morning because I felt like I was neglecting him ;) Gotta keep switching up the nut butters each day!
Much better all mixed up!

Morning snack was a Strawberry Kiwi Naked Juice with a Kashi Trail Mix Bar.

While having my snack I also read some cards I got from my girl CARLY! She is amazing and I love and miss her so much at school!Lunch was the return of the veggie burger on whole wheat bread with pretzels, an apple, and milk. Then I was off to my appointment wicked nervous and anxious! I just keep fearing the worst, like if my weight, blood pressure, pulse went down or something! I like couldn't think positively :/ I mean I really shouldn't have been all that nervous if I have been following my meal plan like I have been doing! But I guess it is always good to be a lil nervous. But in the end my appointment went very well and she told me I am gaining at a nice rate! I was so relieved I did well this week. Now I just have to keep doing this well every week from here on out :)

I obvs had to call la madre to let her know how it went and she was very proud of me. But she was out prom dress shopping with my younger sis so she is gonna call me back later tonight! I can't believe my lil sis is already going to the Junior Prom this year, that is cray cray! I wish I was home dress shopping with her, it is such a fun time :) But oh wait, I will be home tomorrow because my teacher cancelled class for this Friday! Hollah.

A new bar I tried the other day was Chocolate Raspberry Luna Bar!
Very good flavor! This bar was a great combination of dark chocolate and raspberries. If ya like that combo of chocolate with fruit then this bar is for you. And with a little drizzle of icing on top was delicious!
One lil thing that has been bothering me lately are all of these ANON comments I still keep getting on my posts. I understand your concern for me and I really appreciate it. But, it has come to a point when I am just really annoyed with them :/ I know it may sound rude or harsh but it is true.

I got quite a bit of anon comments yesterday telling me lavash bread is low calories, asking why I don't post my dinners (and if it is still chicken, bread, and veggies). Now these comments don't really bother me all that much.

But there was one comment that did irke be a bit and here it is...

Forgive me for being blunt. You are recovering from an eating disorder and you are eating a "yogurt mess" for breakfast? Every morning? Not only is that repetitive, but not nearly enough calories. basically it's just a bunch of junk thrown in a bowl and stirred up.

Lavash bread is extremely low in calories, and for milk, you should be drinking 2% or above, not 1% low fat. You should be trying t gain weight, not maintain or lose.

I seriously hope you are still getting some sort of hlp for this eating disorder, because it's obvious you still have it full on. You are basically eating all "diet" food here.

That "yogurt mess" or whatever it's called, is not appealing looking, nor would it have enough calories to fuel you through a morning.

You are extremely thin and need to eat enough calories to gain.

Please get some help.


So basically this person told me I really have no idea what I am doing to recovery! Anon says a yogurt mess is not nearly enough calories to gain on and is just a bunch of junk thrown together, eating a yogurt mess everyday is not normal, a yogurt mess does not look appealing, a yogurt mess could not possibly fuel me through the day, Iavash bread is low in calories and I should not eat it, I shouldn't drink 1% milk only 2%, and I am eating ALL diet foods. Oh yes and this person says I am extremely thin and I don't eat enough calories to gain or even maintain and I need to get some help! First of all I don't even know how she knows I am thin because I never post pictures of myself on my blog?!

So basically this anon really seems to know (or think she knows) a lot about me! But my point is, I just want to show you that is IS POSSIBLE to gain weight on what I have been doing and what I have been eating. I want to show you that recovery is different from every single person and not everything works the same for each person. This just really bothers me when people tell me I need to eat more and get serious help even though I am gaining on my meal plan (created just for me) and I do have an out-patient team. People think they know WAY more than they really do!

The rest of my day consists of Service Learning 4-6pm, dinner date with one of my girls, meeting, shower, and studying! And of course there will be some watching t.v. in there to keep me distracted. Well, I actually work better when the t.v. is on believe it or not.

Have a great rest of your Humpday!



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46 comments:

Krista said...

Jenna....you (and your) team know what's best for you. Just ignore the people who have more time on their hands than they know what to do with.

Amanda said...

Girl....don't be bothered by what people say to you about what you eat and the repetition! When I was in the first part of my recovery...I only thing I ate was the same thing, and once you start feeling better you will add to it. DO NOT WORRY. You are doing fabulous and I am so happy for you! Keep it up, because you are amazing!!!

Jumpin' Jess' Journey said...

From what I get from reading your posts, you are doing really well. I applaud you for your courage for writing about your struggles and for being in recovery. This anon comment should be taken with a grain of salt, granted I agree people with disordered eating should try to reach out for help, making an ignorant comment like that one on a blog is just silly. In no way is it encouraging and I hope it didn't bother you too much, try to shrug it off. I think you're doing great things with the blog and I hope more girls (and guys) who are struggling with this can look to you for inspiration. Way to go!

Anonymous said...

unfortunately, i think after your appointment today you'll see that "anonymous" was right. i think you should go home and get help, hun. you aren't eating enough. :( get better soon. xoxo

givinganythingbutup.wordpress.com said...

girly, this blog is FOR you, about you, and should be all honesty. You are doing the best you can at this time, and from when I started reading you have come a LONG way. Recovery is not a sprint...hell no. You are doing amazing taking it each step at a time. I know that Anons can get you down, but the only person who really knows how well you are doing are you and your doctor. and if she says youre doing well then ya know what? I damn well believe her! (and you!)

Jenna you are beyond amazing. Going through this isnt easy and you deserve all the the support you can get. Any negative comments ARE NOT helpful. Dont let them get ya down girl. I got your back. You are goregous, smart, and you are headed in the right direction. No one is asking you to be 100% there right here right now, as long as you are headed "there" (wherever that is).

Keep up the good work :)

xo-Molly
www.givinganythingbutup.wordpress.com

erin said...

for someone to comment like that -- that's just judgmental on their part. I don't know much about eating disorders, but food is such a personal thing that sometimes someone cannot tolerate low fat milk, they can handle skim milk or even soy milk. everyone has their own preference as to what they eat for breakfast. your yogurt mess works for you. and if your doctor says that you're gaining weight at a reasonable weight, then listen to your doctor.

katecooks said...

sorry to hear you are getting super rude comments like that one. if you are being told that you are gaining weight at a good rate, i would think that is more valuable than some random person in the blog world. apparently anon doesnt think so but i'm glad you do!

personally, i wouldn't exactly consider yogurt and bananas and cereal and PB "diet" food, even though it might be healthy food. i dont think the point of recovery is to eat 2 egg mc muffins or whatever.

im glad to hear you got the A-okay for this week! keep it up for next week!!

todayslady said...

That sucks that someone is posting such negative comments! It's obvious they aren't saying those things from a good place. You're doing great and please don't let that person discourage you! It's funny because a lot of people eat pretty much the same thing for breakfast and what you're having is a very well balanced meal. I don't even think that you need to defend yourself from the comments that were made by them. It's not even worth it. On a happier note, I've never even heard of Crazy Richards. I'm going to go look it up!

moretolifethanlettuce said...

LOL i hve to laugh at that anon comment. the part about yogurt messes not being appealing, uh ok?! who is she to be a judge of what you find tasty? and plus they ARE amazing and appealing! just keep doing what works for you jenna! of course i agree that you (and I) need to branch out with our meals a bit, there is definitely a pace to go at and you've been challenging yourself a lot so be proud of that! hey sometimes it's good to be a bit nervous--your bp goes up so you don't have hypotension lol!

ktbwood said...

I AM SOO PROUD OF YOU!! KEEP it UP jenna- let this MOTIVATE you EVEN more, do NOT look back AT ALL, dont even THINK about it!! im so glad you texted me last night :) ive been thinking about you all day! and your parents will be so proud of you!

uhh can i punch the anon commenter in the face?!
IF they are reading i would like to say
-yogurt messes have NOTHING to do with having an ED, its about eating HEALTHY
-do you KNOW exactly how many calories jenna is eating? no, i didnt think so
-1% milk is okay, because she is also eating other things to supplement it, hello, does the entire world drink whole milk ? um, no, shes drinking 1% milk bc she is going to be used to that and will still drink it when shes maintaining
okay glad i got that off my chest!

love you jenna!

Katie ♥ said...

Jenna Love, how are you?

Listen, dont let those anon comments bother you, u know what your doing girl, they dont know you, you are doing great with your recovery and you are following your meal plans as you should, just brush it off, those anon comments can get to you I know, but dont let it!!

Love ya girl!!! xoxo

brunettewalksintoabar said...

Pretty sad that this person has nothing better to do than try to tabulate the daily caloric intake of a person he/she doesn't even know! Don't sweat the small stuff, you're doing great :)

Fi said...

I know what u mean about people commenting. Not so much on my blog but in real life. People saying things about my recovery as if they know it all or labelling something i do as anorexic when its actually not. Its so irritating! they should just live their lives and let me live mine! so i can relate there! on a nicer note, its great to see u sounding upbeat and glad ur appt went well. Keep it up!
xxx

GurlOnA"Diet" said...

i think u are doing GREAT these people don't know u as well as u urself do!

Anonymous said...

Okay, so the Anon person is being completely ridiculous. I find that what you're eating is COMPLETELY NORMAL. Look, you probs have like a 400-500 cal dinner, seems like a 300 cal snack mid morning, about 300 cal yogurt mess for breakfast and have a good size lunch at lunch and a small snack mid afternoon.
I have read ALL about this stuff and see it on blogs like carrots and cake and what youre doing is PERFECTLY FINE. It seems like youre injesting about 1800 cal and okay some days you might be sedentary while others you might be so active. A person of an average size only needs about 1800 cal a day. so I say, GO YOU!
-Jae

Tori said...

I agree, don't listen to anyone else but the professionals that are helping you. Believe me I get comments daily from my own family that are just as uneducated, but I try to ignore it because I know that they really are just trying to be helpful, they just don't know how to help ya know?

Anonymous said...

You know what? Dont even stop to THINK about what that person says. ITs utter nonsense. From what I see, youre eating healthily... about 400 cal at breakfast, a good sized snack, a healthy lunch, and a small midmorning snack with a nice dinner. Assuming youre active, you only need about 2000 cal to fuel yourself. Carrots n Cake and other blogs say about the same. So what I say is GO YOU!:DDD Im completely behind you :DD

Sara said...

Hey girl,
PLEASE do not let those comments get you down. people need to realize that you CAN gain weight by eating healthy (and believe or not it is better for you!) rather than eating junk!!!!

and secondly, I had that same luna bar today! it is my favorite!!!!

xoxo
Sara

Stacey said...

I haven't been following your blog for very long, but it seems like you're doing great! So don't let those anons bring you down.
I've never had Lavash bread so I don't know what its calorie content is, but I've heard some people say it is low calorie and other people have said it's not. And the thing about yogurt messes, they can be high calorie and sustainable based on what you toss in. Try not to let those negative comments make you upset; that's probably what they want. If you're following your meal plan then you have nothing to worry about!

Anonymous said...

I'm posting anon 'cause I don't have any website to put down, but hi my name is Christina.

Anyway, I think you're great for tackling your problems and doing it in front of an audience. I don't normally ever comment on blogs but I felt the urge to today.

This person that wrote you that anonymous comment needs to understand what "diet" food is. If they mean "healthy" food then they're right...you're eating diet food--but it's HEALTHY food. Do they not understand that just because you're trying to gain weight, it does not mean that you should be eating cheeseburgers all day?!?

Futhermore, if this person read your blog enough they'd know about your Wednesday weigh-in's that hold you accountable for what you eat. How is that not "help"???

Just know that there are many more people here that support you than those that criticize you. Shame on her/him!!!! I think you're awesome!

learningtocookeatandenjoydeliciousfood said...

I am so sorry that the anonymous people are hating on you, but please focus on recovery and get help if you feel you need it. I am also in recovery and eat "diet foods", but that is what I was raised on and enjoy!! Please ignore what others have to say, because you are in this own your own and you are doing this for yourself!!

peaceluvmunchies said...

Uhg, people like that infuriate me. I'm sorry but who are they to say all that...who do they think they are??? I think your eats look fabulous and obviously they have no idea what they are talking about because yog messes pack a pretty darn good caloric punch, esp with add ins - anddd are a great source of calcium aaand protein! Plus, they're delicious - obv anon has never tried one.

Don't let them get to you, love. In life there will always be "haters" - they just test you, and in the end they are bringing themselves down and giving you an opportunity to shine.

Love you, girl!! So proud and happy that your appointment went well!!

Molls said...

oh GIRL do not listen to that dumb anon. person... clearly they have some beef with your blog and if it really bugs them then why the heck are they still reading it! IDIIOT! Furthermore, why can't you eat your yogurt mess everyday? I mean why eat something you do not like or semi like when you can have something you LOVE instead. I mean heck then I guess my daily oatmeal combination is wrong. haha see?

SOOOO HAPPY YOUR APPOINTMENT WENT WELL! THAT IS TOTALLY EXCITING!

Meg said...

Let's not talk calories on here, please. Everyone is SO different in their calorie needs. I'm not going to get into numbers, but recovering anorexics need a hell of a lot more than 2000 calories a day. Get real. I think we need to stop comparing ourselves to other people so much (this message goes out to the commenters, not you, Jenna).

Jenna said...

Thank ya megs-love ya!
And you are so right like I said in this post...everyone is different in recovery!!!

coffeeandhope said...

Thank you meg for saying that. I was just about to. Recovery can NOT be measured by the number of calories someone is taking in.
Jenna- I'm really proud of you for taking care of yourself these past few weeks. Keep it up!!

Trying To Heal said...

Ah hun, I'm sorry you've been getting these comments but I'm glad that you know what you're doing is right and best for your body. you are making sure to get in adequate cals and even if the variety isn't in there as much as they think it should, sometimes we just like to eat the same things over and over again, right?! yeah!

I am so proud of you for hte progress you're making and of course, glad to hear the appointment went well!

Anonymous said...

Hi, I'm an Anon that's never posted before :)...

look... I really don't want to be obnoxious in saying this, but if you are gaining on a very small amount (your diet looks like one of the average athletic person), what do you expect to do after you reach your goal weight? How much do you think you're going to eat? I really want you to think my question through.

As a fellow eating disorder recoverer, i've gotten in the mindset "well, if i'm gaining i SHOULD be uncomfortable because if I am very comfortable with what i'm eating.. i'm going to keep gaining and gaining by accident haha"... but... if I eat more than I think I should, I should have no problem maintaining later on..

just a different perspective?
I'd really appreciate if you let this post, and also addressed it, because I AM curious, as a fellow ED recoverer...

Jessica @ The Process of Healing said...

I'm glad you had a good appt girl. And don't listen to that stupid comment. Really. Yogurt messes are awesome. And they can completely be enough calories. You are doing exactly what you should be doing, just keep it up. You're amazing girl!!

And I for one LOVE yogurt messes. Majorly! :D
Much love!

Allyson said...

Yay!! I'm glad to hear that your appointment went well and that you are back on track. Obviously your recovery teams thinks you are doing well, so silly anons can shut it. I mean what do people expect you to do; sit around and stuff your face with heavily processed, nutrition void crap in order to gain weight? Just as there is a healthy way to lose weight, there is also a healthy way to gain weight. Keep you head high girl!

struggling20something said...

Girl, I LOVE Luna bars. I haven't tried that flavor, but seeing as I'm a huge raspberry fan I'm going to have to! I'm so glad your appt went well! Way to stay on track for another week!

As for the anons, don't listen to them. You should feel free to post whatever you want on your blog and not feel judged. Don't worry about those naysayers! :)

jaclyn said...

I totally agree; those negative anon comments really don't do anything but hurt you and they obv don't know what they are talking about! Recovery and the "art" of gaining is different for every.single.person. and if you have found something you like *and if it's meeting your mealplan* keep on with your bad, yogurt-mess-makin self!! :D And you could text me anytime...hahah whe nI read that I was like 'i was in the doctor's office for 1+ hour yesterday.. I shoulda done that too!! ;)'

My sister's a senior this year, too! Cuh-raaaazay to think how fast time flies! I remember senior year like ti was yesterday and now it's her (and your sis') turn to go to prom, graduate, etc... gahhh!!! :P

Alyson @ Nourished Fitness said...

Congrats, I'm happy for you! And screw those crazy anon's (too harsh? :p). They clearly are completely clueless about nutrition let alone recovery. Rock it :)

findinghappinessandhealth said...

stay strong Jenna. You know how I feel about those anonymous comments but also know that there are people out there who are truly worried about you. Give recovery 110% and keep on eatin love :) you can do this!!

kellieatsforfun said...

I'm so sorry about the mean/rude comments you've been getting! You're being really brave and putting yourself out there, hoping to help others in the process. You shouldn't be punished for doing a great think for others in recovery. You clearly have a team behind you who knows what they're doing--putting on weight by eating junk is not the path to recovery that I've seen work for anyone. Slowly gaining weight with a healthful diet is smart!

jqlee said...

Those negative comments don't do ANY good and that person is completely rude and selfish for not thinking how this might make you feel. You do what you and your MEDICAL (aka people who are trained and educated) team have planned our for you to do. Like you said, your nurse said you are gaining at a nice pace. It's not like you can go out and eat pizza every day, every meal and gain 10 lbs in a week. Now THAT is just plain old unhealthy. You're gaining the healthy way, the slow and methodical way.

PLUS, all your foods are delicious. Maybe that "anon" does not know what THEY are talking about. And fyi, yogurt is pretty much my everyday food staple :) I love every single thing about it - the creaminess, the texture, the flavors and all the dang nutrients!!

Anonymous said...

The only person who should be commenting about the calories you NEED is your nutritionist. This isn't the place for it. To gain health and recovery you need more then "1800, or 2000"-but hopefully you are listening to the professionals and not letting the comments to this post interfere with what you eat. Recovery is not about counting calories, I hope you are trusting and using exchanges. Lavash/Flat out wraps-not what you need right now girl.

A@ Please Don't Eat Me! said...

i hate anon commentors, they try and bring down the poster and it just sucks, because really, who are they to judge?! they dont know you!
as long as everything you are eating is healthy, why does it matter what kind of milk you drink? i cant stand the taste of milk period, but if i had to, i would go for 1% because its halfway between drinking buttermilk and water. lol
keep up YOUR good work jenna and nevermind the naysayers!

kickitwoman said...

don't worry about the negative comments you receive - as long as YOU are doing what YOUR body needs, no one should have anything to say about it. you know best, girl, and i wish you luck in sticking to your plan.

Stephanie said...

Don't worry about what they say. You are doing so much better. And just because you are in recovery doesn't mean you should eat cheeseburgers...you are making healthy choices for your body and as long as you are getting the nutrition and calories you need that's all that matters. Keep up the good work!

Christina said...

mm i love the raspberry chocolate bars! ill punch that person who said nasty words. don't worry.

janetha said...

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm. i dont count calories, but i will eat a yog mess/yoats every morning and stay full for 5 hours. no lie. so i just did a quick calculation and the yog mess i had this morn (greek yog, vita top, natures path and mighty mapes) had 500 cals. hah. and how dare they call that gloriousness "JUNK"?! shame.

i love your face and your food. keep up the amazing work~ youre doin just fine baby cakes.

Anonymous said...

Let's all keep in mind what Meg said. Thowing out caloric numbers doesn't help anything.

katey said...

okay.. all the rude commenters need to shut up! The ENTIRE time I was gaining weight I at flatout wraps, sandwich thins, lowfat milk/ yogurt. it just matters the AMOUNT that your eating. sure for me 1 flatout=1 carb choice.. so I added other carbs throughout the day/meal to meet my END goal.. I'd keep eating lavash wraps if YOU LIKE THEM! do not force yourself to eat something you don't like- because this process should be enjoyable. And obviously if you're gaining weight.. your plan is working for you!!! Anon's most likely bash on you because they're unhappy in their own lives ( or its their ed's talking) so ignore them.. don't even approve their comments. THEY DONT MATTER!!!!!

funfashionista said...

im so happy your appointment went well girlie! :) thats awesome. i always get nervous for mine too but when you leave you feel like 100% better!

im sorry about the annon comments, thats really lame. i would just ignore them, if this person truely cared about you they would let you know who they were! i think your doing fabulousss and you know what? eat your yogurt mess every morning and love it.

amy<3

Ariffa said...

I can't believe someone actually said that a yogurt mess looks unappealing... your yogurt messes are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen!
From what I gather your doing great, let the haters say what they want, you eat that yogurt mess!

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