I'm back!!

Well hello there! Hope you all have been doing fabulous :) This past weekend I was in NJ for my lil sis' lax tourney which was fun!

Monday I met with my therapist and yesterday with my nutritionist, which both went well. One interesting topic my therapist and I talked about was how to not let ED make me worry so much about what is going to happen in the future. I need to just let it happen even though I always like to know what is going to happen. But what I have learned is that fearing the unknown and not knowing what exactly is going to happen is okay and sometimes surprises can be okay and good. I just need to stop worrying and go with the flow and for the most part everything will fall into place and be okay.

I was also glad to meet with my nutritionist to go over my meal plan to make sure it is working. Over the past few weeks she said I have been gaining at a steady weight and to just keep doing what I have been doing since then. We also made a few more tweaks in it as well.

Eats lately have been...
yogurt messes of course! They are the perfect summer breakfast.Chocolate Chip Brownie Larabar tasted just like a very chocolately brownie. It was very yummy! OMG I just finished this book Little Bee which I started last Wednesday and was so good I could not put it down! It is a must read in my book ;)Tropical Fruit LarabarKashi Chocolate Caramel Crunchy Bar. Very good! I loved the mix of chocolate and caramel together and plus it had pieces of popcorn in it!

Last Saturday I saw my first ever PITA PIT and I just knew I had to try it! Pita Pit is such a cool sub shop and I am so glad I finally got to try it after I have seen so many bloggers rave about it! I got the grilled turkey with american cheese, lettuce and tomato all wrapped up in a pita! I guess my camera liked it that much that it ate it.

I have also been obsessed with Annie's Bunny Grahams Honey! They are so soft and yummy :)
Lunches lately have been pretty typical of me...turkey sandwiches.Again I gotta tell ya babysitting is a tough job layin' out by the pool ;)White Chocolate Macadamia Nut Clif Bar outside in the sun :)

I have been trying a lot of Trader Joe's products lately!
This is the White Chicken Sesame Noodle Bowl that my mom raves about all the time hence the reason why she bought 8 of them last trip to TJ's since they rarely have them! So when they are at the store she stocks up on 'em.This was my first time trying this TJ frozen meal and it was great! It had noodles with white chicken, carrots, and peas topped with a sesame ginger sauce. The resaon why I have never had this meal before was because of ED! He tells me to avoid all types of sauces at all costs because I don't know what they are made from and how much calories in it etc. Well ya know what ED?! I really don't care! I was going to have this meal and enjoy every bite of it and that was exactly what I did. I had this meal for dinner one night and all I needed was add a dinner roll and it fit perfectly into my meal plan.

More new products from Trader Joe's...
Brown Rice California Rolls and a Greek Salad. This was my first time trying sushi that wasn't a veggie roll and I must say I loved the California rolls which had carrots, avocado, & crab meat rolled in brown rice. And plus I haven't had avocado before and I love it now as well. This is defs my new favorite sushi roll :)This past weekend at my sister's lacrosse tourney we all went out to dinner, all the players and their families. ED definitely stirred up a bit of stress for me when I found out we were going to an Italian restaurant and were given only 4 chooses from...Chicken parm, Veal parm, Stuffed Flounder, or Chicken Francese. ED told me to order something else that was "safe" from the menu but I didn't want to be THAT girl ordering something "special" from the menu that nobody else could order. I am no more special or more important than anyone else there and I decided I was going to order one of those 4 chooses for dinner and eat it because I also didn't want to be THAT girl at the table not eating!

I started off with a House Salad with Italian dressing. Yes you heard me right, the dressing was already poured on the salad so I just had to eat it with the dressing already on it and not knowing how much was poured on or how many calories were in it etc. But who cares, because guess what?! I ate it!

I ordered the Chicken Francese which I had never had before and had no idea what it was going to look like, what is was served with, or even if I was going to like it! Well I kinda knew I would probs like it because it was just chicken, but I didn't know what type of sauce was going to be on it.The menu described it as a Boneless breast of chicken, egg, white wine & lemon served with greens beans and spaghetti with marinara sauce. Even though ED told me not to eat the sauce because it was unknown I still did. I was proud of myself for eating this dinner!

Now I don't wanna tell you that everything is going great in my recovery because that would be a lie. This past weekend at my sister's tournament I kinda struggled a bit. To tell you the truth on Saturday I did not follow my meal plan quite so well although ED was quite happy, deep down inside I was not. That is why I tried to get back on track on Sunday. I think it is real hard for me when I am not at home to recovery. I seem to do well at home because there are less distractions to interfere with my recovery. Although I do know that I need to be able to recover under any circumstances.

One thing I have been having a real hard time with is comparing myself to other girls and how they look vs. how I look. ED always tells me that I should look like her because she is skinnier than me but in reality I know she is NOT as skinny as I am but ED convinces me that she is and that I don't need to gain any more weight. When this happens I always go to my sisters and ask them if that girl is skinnier than me and they will say "Jenna, are you serious? NO!" When I am struggling with ED thoughts I always go to my sisters because they give me the reassurance I need. My girl Shelley wrote a post on Why Comparing is a Waste of Time and if you haven't read it yet I suggest you do and right about now ;)

Happy Humpday!

Mideast Feast!

Hey hey hey! Is it hot enough outside for ya? It sure is here! The past week has been such summer weather and today we actually hit 100 degrees! Cra crayyy! But I wasn't too worried because I was nannying all day which meant hanging out by the pool and inside with the AC ;)

I also met with my therapist today which went well. I can't say it enough but I am truly glad and blessed I finally found a therapist that I am satisfied with :) We talked a lot about how I need to be in control of ED and not let ED control me. It is important I be active rather than passive in recovery. I need to want to recover rather than just sitting around hoping and wishing to recover and the only person who can do this is ME!

Moving onto my eats lately!
More yoatgurt! I love the combination of hot oatmeal and cold yogurt together, especially topped with banana and peanut butter.Can't forget about the yogurt messes obvs.

I have been having lots of Larabars as a morning snack.

The new Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Larabar that just came out!I thought this bar was very good. I mean let's be real how could anything with peanut butter and chocolate not be good! Although this bar was very crumbly and did not hold together well.Apple Pie LarabarKashi Chocolate Turtle Roll! This bar was chewy and delish filled with chocolate, caramel, pecans, crisps, and whole grains.

So I guess you can say I am lovin' Annie's Cheddar Bunnies ;)
Subway for lunch two days in a row! But hey whose counting?!Turkey & swiss with lettuce and tomatoes.Dinner last night was the Panera Strawberry & Poppyseed Salad with freshly baked bread. This is such a nice and refreshing salad for the summertime!

This afternoon I went to Trader Joe's with my mom and I picked up this gem along with some sushi, salad, yogurt, and Clif Bars.
This would be Trader Joe's Mideast Feast! For the past two times I shopped at TJ's I have been eyeing this meal but this afternoon I actually bought it! I have seen a lot of bloggers eat and rave about Meditteranean food and it looks great and I just really wanted to try it out myself...so that is what I did!

This was a big step for buying this meal because ED kind of freaked out since I have never really had a Mediterranean meal before and he kept telling me I shouldn't buy it because it was a mixed meal rather than having separate proteins, carbs, fats, etc. If that makes any sense to you?!

ED also was telling me I wasn't sure of how many calories, carbs, fat, protein, etc it had in it and if it fit into my meal plan and blah blah blah and all in all it actually fit my meal plan pretty well ;) ED was just totally making me freak out for no reason at all! So in the end I just bought it and ate it for dinner tonight :) Take that ED!
This meal had a pita, falafel balls, hummus, tabbouli, and tahini sauce. This was my first time ever trying falafel balls and they were great and I really liked them. I decided not to make a pita sandwich but rather dip the pitas into the hummus and then eat everything else separatly to truly see what I did and didn not like. Although I was NOT a big fan of the tabbouli at all...yuck! So overall I love this meal and can't wait to have Mediterranean food again in the future and now I know what I like and do not like. You never know until you try it, right?!

Have a great night and keep cool!

Happy 4th :)

Happy 4th of July weekend :) I hope you all have a great weekend filled with fun, family, friends, and food!

Recovery wise I have been doing real well lately and I couldn't be any happier with myself. I had my weekly weigh-in this past Thursday which went well and I just hope to continue on this path. Although I do know that recovery will not always be easy and go this well. I know there will be hard times but I am ready for those times and will take care of them when they arrive. There is no need to worry about the future now!

This morning for breakfast I tried Fage 2% with Strawberry!
To. Die. For.I made some YOATGURT with oatmeal and Fage yogurt topped with sliced bananas, strawberry, and peanut butter. This was by far one of the best breakfasts I have had because it was full of all different flavors which I loved! You will be seeing this again in the near future. Perhaps tomorrow?! Hah.

The other morning I tried Siggi's Vanilla yogurt for the first time ever and let me just tell you it was the THICKEST yogurt I have ever had by far. I swear I could have held the container upside down and the yogurt would have stayed put. No lie.
Siggi's yogurt mixed up with Cascadian Farms Purely O's, banana, and Justin's maple almond butter. It was quite the yogurt mess.I forgot how good these babies are and I just had to bring them back into my life. The Cinnamon Roll Larabar: dates, walnuts, almonds, raisins, cashews, and cinnamon. The ingredient list was short and sweet and the way I like it ;)

Nannying these days has just been so hard laying out by the pool...
I kid I kid! Don't get me wrong I do a lot of running around like driving to swim, school, camp, playing, arts & crafts, and preparing meals & snacks. But in all honestly I really do love my summer job!

Lunches have been pretty simple and my go to meals since I have been nannying during the day. So there has been lots of turkey & cheese sandwiches. But I am lovin' the new turkey my mom just bought, Boar's Head Salsalito Turkey! So good and has a nice lil kick to it.
I have been having many Clif Bars as my afternoon snacks. These are the perfect bars for me an afternoon snack because they fit my meal plan accordingly and there are soo many flavors to choose from and plus there tasty.Cool Mint Chocolate aka Girl Scouts Thin Mint Cookie! Next time I must heat this in the micro as I couldn't this time since I was in Home Depot with my mom and grammy looking at ceiling fans for well over an hour. But alas my grammy FINALLY decided on a fan and bought it. At least that shopping trip is over!Ok so the other afternoon after nannying I came home to a box of these......and six boxes of these! You may ask where they all came from? Well so did I! My mom ordered them all on-line just because she is awesome like that! Gotta love her :)So of course I had to try my newest addiction of Tuna Mac & cheese last night! Sooo good! Dinners have been going well and tasty if I do say so myself!Cheeseburger, wacky mac pasta salad and barbeque popchips.BBQ grilled chicken, broccoli, potatoes, and a roll with butter.The other night the fam and I went out to Ruby Tuesdays for dinner and I ordered the same salad as I did last time just a few weeks ago because it was that good, Asian Salmon Spinach Salad. I knew I probably should have ordered something else to challenge myself but I didn't but perhaps next time I will try something new on the menu.

Well I am off to get ready for this weekend because I got a cookout to go to later today! Happy 4th :)